With summer air still lingering and a couple more months of hot weather in front of us, we’ve been getting the most we can out of this season- trying to stay outside as much as possible. With Lila in Pre-K three times per week, I have been working more. I’ve also enrolled in school again (I’ll be done someday…right!?) so life has been full! Luckily Robert and I’s co-parenting relationship has been going smoothly (we definitely have our ups and downs) but this seems to be an okay period for us, I am hoping it lasts. We’ve come a long way in the seven months since separating. It has been the hardest transition of my life, getting used to parenting solo with two kids has been no easy task and there are days which are definitely harder than others. They say that the only thing that can change things is time, and I believe that full heartily. Having patience through the roughest transitions in my life has been probably the most character-shaping lapse I’ve experienced yet. Life has a way of re-shaping us if we are open to it and ALLOW it to do so. When I look back at this half-way through the year point, I remember feeling so plagued by sadness and fear and confusion that I was almost paralyzed by it. And while I am still facing certain fears and anxieties, perhaps I feel more like I can handle them a little better than before. There are still a million things that are up in the air (where we will live is probably the most pressing!) but I am learning that the only thing you can have in seasons of uncertainty is to adopt a perspective of patience and a sort of willingness to be open to change and growth (however painful or uncomfortable it may be). And let me tell you- I am a stubborn one and this sort of mindset hasn’t come easy and it is by far a work in progress.
Life goes on. A constant metamorphosis from not wanting to be separate from my comfortable cocoon to realizing I must spread my wings in order to fly. But it takes time to grow those massive, colorful wings. Life is shaped by time and the willingness to learn, to let go, and to begin again. And I feel that is just what I am doing, one day at a time.