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Reflecting, Appreciating, Dreaming

“We also celebrate New Year’s, a call to reflect on the past, appreciate the present, and dream our future. This is truly the time of the year to go inside and ripen in our womanly wisdom before stepping out into the world again.”

-Sarah Avant Stover (The Way of the Happy Woman)

Right now, what are you reflecting on, appreciating, and dreaming of?

When I ask myself these things, so much comes to mind. I am reflecting on how much I’ve grown in the last year. 2016 was one of the most difficult years of my life. I decided to leave the relationship I had to my children’s father as it became toxic and unhealthy. My girls and I moved in with my parents, which made the whole ‘leaving’ situation even harder for a fiercely independent person as myself. Hard to believe that it’s been a whole year since all of that (stuff!) happened. Learning how to be on my own again, not to rely on a man, and to co-parent with an ex  has not been without its challenges. As time passes I am sure that it will always have its hardships, but learning how to navigate against the stormy seasons of life is becoming more bearable. I’ve learned how to love myself more, and find strength within myself from places I didn’t know existed. I’ve learned how to let go of things and people that destroy peace in my life. To come to that realization that I had power over my own life to leave behind the bad and find the good wasn’t as easy as it sounds; but now that I am here I don’t want to look back. I am convinced even more that I am the author of my own life and to write your own life’s story is much better than having a person or a situation do it for you. Sometimes it is hard to take the reigns over your own life, and even when you have both hands on the steering wheel it is hard to navigate where you’ll go… but that’s the most important part. You are the driver. You can go anywhere you want.

While I am not always appreciative of the present moment, I am beginning to learn how to appreciate and welcome the harder times with the good. It is in seasons of pain or hardship that have enabled me to grow in so many ways. In this very season, I am appreciating health. I am thanking God for providing for meeting our needs, and I am trying to adopt an attitude of appreciation no matter what is going on around me because there is always so, so much to be thankful for.

Ahh dreaming… my favorite part about life. I am always dreaming of what new adventures await. What new friendships may come about, what love I may find. Dreams are just the very best part, and wishing them into reality even better.

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