Facing only strong emotions at times, I find it hard to put them into words. But I always feel better when I do. They are thoughts that need released, just like any other emotion. I have decided that this year I would write more, even if I didn’t know what to say. And lately I have been. I find scribbled notes I’ve made to myself/the universe quite often now- a healthy start to RELEASE. Though I’ve never tried writing poetry, it is my favorite thing to read. I read the words out loud boldly and beautifully with perfect annunciation and tone. Some taste sweet, others bitter or even sour. That’s how you know that poems are more than just words.
Something I wrote in the midst of a hard season (not so long ago)
There is adrenaline that rushes through me. And though I don’t want to spew fire with my tongue, it forces its way out hot and thick; steam trailing. This intense emotion can overcome me-blindfolded, hands shaking. I try to scold myself in a tub of water hoping somehow the liquid will put out the unexpressed flames of hatred rising within me. Hoping somehow it will negate the bad energy that’s flowing. Hot blood in my veins, throbbing beneath my skin. When I find a sense of calm and collect I am able to concentrate on deep, bold breathes. Eyes closed, lukewarm water closing in around me. Chilling me to the bone.
I find peace.
I ask for understanding.
I am not all-consumed by this wildfire that furies inside. I do not let feelings of hatred resolve anything. I am soft, delicate. I am sensitive. This ravenous depth stops roaring.
I am light again.